Sometimes, it pays to be in the dark.
You know, sometimes it pays to be left in the dark. Allow me to explain...
If you've been a reader of this blog, you've read the stories of my father in law (FIL) who has a very quick and decisive temper (right, wrong or indifferent) and the damage he's caused when he allows it to just run amok amongst the family. And today, I found out a few more things about his worldview that I just can't believe. Due to the latest family dispute, he's completely written his oldest daughter and her husband off. He's apparently ceased all communication (including "hello" when finding himself in the same room as them) and has quit all work on their house (this, after working on the home in secret for the better part of a week).
Further, this erratic behavior has gone on for several years. Apparently, when he was younger, he decided it would be prudent (in the name of "protecting them") to impersonate a state building inspector to have work halted on a house his own brother in law was building. I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say the incident (of over 30 years ago) was stranger than strange...and it didn't end well for him.
But in hearing about these escapades, I'm becoming increasingly worried about his mental health and general wellbeing. In my not so professional opinion, I think he's headed for some sort of break. And when that happens, Lord only knows what is going to go down. I can foresee situations from the sublime to the ridiculous taking place. Yet my biggest concern in all of this is just who is going to get hurt and how. I'm afraid this guy is going to lash out at someone in, on some level, a violent way and do something he's going to regret.
Yet in hearing all of this stupidity on his part, it gives me great pause to think about others in general. I notice where society in general has gone back down the "me road." That's where we feel as though it's all about "me." And if you, unlike me, are sick of me, then too damn bad. This is one scary road. For the most part, we don't interact with our neighbors and peers nearly as much as we used to. Studies show that the average American has far fewer trusted friends than in the past. In fact, Americans’ circle of close confidants has shrunk dramatically in the past two decades and the number of people who say they have no one with whom to discuss important matters has more than doubled, according to a study by sociologists at Duke University and the University of Arizona.
On the whole, I find where we're far too quick to pull the trigger when it comes to severing ties with friends and family. We're too quick to anger and even quicker to sever ties. Granted, I've had to pare down the number of people I've held close in recent months (as evidenced by the bullying incident detailed here awhile back, not to mention a few other spats of stupidity I've come across as I surf the web). But trivial matters get blown out of proportion in record time in these days. And as far as I'm concerned, we need each other far more in today's world than at any other time in the past. It's a scary world out there, and facing it alone isn't much fun. Having someone to lean on is necessary to be productive, happy and well adjusted.
And still, all this leads back to my FIL. What would possess him to write off his oldest daughter and her husband...as well as most of his wife's side of the family (not to mention his own sister)? I don't get it...why shove everyone away? Is a life alone that wonderful? I can't see where that would be true. And I'd hate to think that there's some sort of psychosis present that is going to go unaided for the rest of his days. In his heart, he's a good person who'd go to the mat for you...if he likes you.
So, I must ask that you keep my FIL in your prayers (or at the very least...your well wishes). Maybe some good karma--or possibly some divine intervention--will help him grow and understand that the world isn't out to get him.
