morality vs. ethics 101

Another day, another email. I'm actually starting to enjoy this exchange of ideas with my anonymous detractor; the debate is enjoyable. Today, I'll quote him/her directly...

"***k your morality and high horse writing, ***ktard. Get off the internet. Just because you think you're ethical doesn't mean you're no better than anybody else, ***hole."

Yikes, that was deep...despite the faux pas of the double negative. The usage of the verb in the first sentence shows me just who this might be...however the focus on my "writing" gives me another idea as to the emailers identity. I'm sure he/she will slip at some point, and the identity will be confirmed. For now, I'll just state that I'm 75% sure I know who it is. But just like a good investigator, I'll wait for the "criminal" (to use that term very loosely) to make a mistake.

And yes, I know our anonymous friend isn't a criminal in the literal sense. Analogies are a beautiful thing, you know.

Now, getting on to the usage of morality. Our pal is correct, I have a different sense of morality than most of my friends/acquaintances/well wishers/detractors, etc. I'm an odd duck in today's world. And that's fine. In fact, this blog has become great therapy for me as writing about that method of thinking has caused me to become much more comfortable with myself--not to mention the fact that it's caused me to refine my thinking further. But I think my mysterious friend needs to understand something. Ethics and morality are words often used interchangeably, but I’d like to make the case that they may be different and that the difference is important.

The word “morality” comes from the Latin word “mores,” meaning customs. The word “ethics” comes from the Greek word “ethikos,” which in turn comes from the “ethos” meaning character. Morality, then from “mores” or customs is something given to you from outside. It’s the customs or rules of the society that you happen to live in. Ethics, on the other hand from the word for “character” comes from inside you. It has to do with your nature, or personality, and it doesn’t depend on outside rules. It will look over the rules of society, but it will decide which of those rules are really in accord with who you are as a human being.

Being an ethical person means you experience yourself as a self-determining person. The rules for living don’t all come from outside you. There’s something inside you that becomes centered, and a kind of integrity results.

Let me tell you a bit of a story to paint a picture of what I'm trying to get across here. There was once a builder who had constructed many buildings for his employer. And the employer was quite happy with his work. One day the employer decided to go on a world cruse, but before leaving, she gave the builder plans for an ideal house. She said, “Use only the best materials, employ only the best workers, and spare no expense. I want this house to be beautiful.”

The builder saw how wealthy his employer was, and he thought: “I wish I had the money to go on a world cruise.” And he said, “Why should I build this beautiful house for her, when I should be thinking of myself?” So he skimped on materials, especially where it wouldn’t show, and he hired inferior workers, and he pocketed all the money he saved.

When his employer got back from her cruise, she looked at the house and, not knowing how shoddy it was, said, “This house is indeed beautiful. And to let you know how much I’ve appreciated all the work you’ve done for me all these years, I give you this house. It’s yours to own, and to live in.” (“If only I had known I was building it for myself,” thought the builder).

Your ethical house is something you are building for yourself. Other people may give you advice or offer you their building plans, and you may discover ways to make your house look good while being cheap and shoddy underneath – but it’s your house. And you need to ask yourself: Do I really want to live in a slipshod structure?

Morality is about building someone else’s house; ethics means building your own. And it may cost you a lot in terms of headaches and conflicts and tension. In this case, it's the headache of an cloaked detractor. Yet I'm beginning to enjoy the give and take with this person...it's helping me to understand this world of which I'm now a part.

But, as Neitzsche so famously put it: “Only those who can contain within themselves the pressure and the chaos of tension can give birth to a dancing star.” That’s what ethics will give you – if you can stand the pressure.

Your turn, Mr. Anonymous.