thoughts on Facebook

So, as many of you know I've been on a new odyssey as of late. Awhile back, I joined Facebook as a way of networking and keeping up with friends and family. I must say, it's worked out very well. I “talk” with far away family members much more often, and I stay in touch with friends from the eastern part of my home state, Massachusetts, much more regularly.

Interestingly, I've also found that Facebook as reacquainted me with others from my past. Now don't get me wrong—there's some from my high school days that I'd love to find and catch up with. But alas, there are others who I really don't want to see and/or hear from again. That is the catch 22 with Facebook. How do you handle those who “friend” you, but you really don't want to “friend” them.

For example, I was recently contacted by one who was a co-worker of mine at my very first job. That job you ask? McDonald's! Said co-worker and I had mutual friends years ago, but an eventual falling out over an incident that was both none of his business and untrue. Essentially, he ended our friendship over a lie someone else told him. And in my mind, that makes him as bad as the person who told the lie. In fact, seeing his name on a “friend request” in Facebook just brought up my distaste for him all over again. Be that as it may, I had a decision to make...do I tell him to drop dead? Do I inquire about what he wants? Or do I just simply ignore him?

I received another request today. This one was from one who graduated high school a year prior to me. And to be quite honest with you, I have no idea how I really know this person. I don't recall “hanging around” with this person—ever! In fact, I'm flabbergasted as to how this person actually remembered me from 20-years ago.

Both of these small events give me a personal quandary to consider. I've worked very hard to shed some of the bad memories of my teen years (I was the nerdy guy who was constantly bothered in high school. Me? Popular? Not a chance!). And to see that some of these people actually remember me is both sickening to me and heartening to me. On one hand, it's nice to know someone remembers me from years ago and wants to “friend” me on Facebook. On the other hand, I'm not so sure I really want to return to that time in my life. This time that I'm having now, with my wife and my son and all the good things I've been blessed with, is the best.

I can forgive and would prefer to forget most of these people. When you forgive, you get your life back. When you forgive, you free your mind. When you forgive, you can continue to put your energies on your priorities, and not pettiness. When you don’t forgive, you don’t act the way you normally do, but you act according to your bitterness. In so doing, you allow your un-forgiveness to keep controlling you. In fact, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to reconcile. If I don't feel as though I want to keep someone in my life, after forgiving a serious transgression, I have every right to let that person go.

But that still doesn't solve the quandary in my head...I wonder, should I hit that ignore button or reply and really let 'em have it?