commitments were made to be broken?
As many of you know, I was brought up in the UCC. My father, God rest his soul, held a theological doctorate and high standing in the denomination. He was also one of the church’s most outspoken liberal voices, shaping many views on inclusion, racism, theological thinking and more in his over 50 years as a minister. Further, as many of you also know, I am a staunch lefty in the UCC. My worldview is virtually UU (Unitarian/Universalist) and probably even further to the left than my own father. Hence, my own viewpoint on my life experience.
My fiancée and I received a call yesterday, telling us that the senior minister in our church will be unable to perform our wedding in July. Thankfully, that is not to say that the date be changed (thank goodness for associate pastors), but the notion that a minister could simply, and seemingly arbitrarily, change his availability at such a late date is disheartening. My father and I both believed one must uphold his word upon making a commitment (a rather original notion in these days, that’s for sure). To throw such an important date into a state of flux is unethical at best. Such is my constant disappointment with the world around me.
Yet my consternation at the whole thing comes from the fact that someone who is supposed to be setting an example is setting such a poor example. This man insisted he would be very happy to take on the task of marrying us, to the point of meeting with us twice in order to begin the planning of how we want the service to go. And all of a sudden a better opportunity comes along? That’s a sad thing in my book. Granted, the opportunity that has been bestowed my esteemed pastor is an excellent one (I won’t bore you with the details), but to make such an important decision without consulting the two people affected the most is purely wrong.
Then again, why am I surprised? Commitments are broken all the time these days (just ask the not so anonymous person who continues to email horrible things without signing his name…not to mention the threats recently forwarded to me via email by a bowling center manager who is not so anonymous. Maybe I should post them here in this blog, just to make a fool of him, worldwide). And commitments are broken for some of the silliest reasons. Once again, I say this…the opportunity that has been bestowed my esteemed pastor is an excellent one. But when one makes a commitment…friend, mentor, service provider, etc., one has an obligation to follow through on it. If he or she does not, that person is wholly irresponsible at best.
Nevertheless, I’ve committed to bowl tonight, which will be fun! Last week of the regular season…a sad, but happy night. It really depends upon how you look at it, I know (happy for summer, sad for the end of a season). Yet Tuesday begins a nice summer league which should be a great time. I’ll do some prebowling, I know…but at least I’ll live up to the commitment I made to the team!
